Weaknesses

I've recently been struggling with one of my weaknesses.  It surfaces when I have extra stress.  I think I struggle with it in general but when I have to focus all of my energy on something that drains me of my defenses, the result is a weakened state of mind.

I am truly amazed that even though I am unhappy with God when I am experiencing my stressful situation, I still find myself asking for help. So even though in my head I am saying, "this is not cool" and I threaten to do something that would be counterproductive to my situation, there is still a small whisper of "please help me God."  Almost immediately a thought pops in my head, as if a rope is thrown down to me as I am hanging from the side of a mountain.  That thought leads me to a safe place where I can gain strength to fight my weakness.  These thoughts are anywhere from call somebody, read something that will give me an answer, like the scriptures, listen to uplifting music etc.  Sometimes it's helpful to just let out a scream.  Most recently I called a few friends to help me out of my situation and guess what. It helped.

This is one of the ways that Heavenly Father shows me that he loves me and cares about me.  It builds my testimony that he does work through others.  There is a chapter in the LDS gospel principles book on Service.  It talks about how "through the service of men and women and boys and girls, Gods work is done.  God notices us, and he watches over us.  But it is usually through another person that he meets our needs" (Teachings of Presidents of the Church: Spencer W. Kimball [2006], 82).

I am smiling after I win my battle because I know that Heavenly Father is happy with my choice and continues to bless me and make me stronger.  My favorite analogy in the whole world is that of the donkey in a well.   I see the person throwing the dirt on the donkey as the adversary. http://www.wisdomshare.com/stories/the-farmers-donkey/

I am grateful for God's love for me and the small miracles that happen every day because He listens and I listen back.